The following text is an example of what I do when I walk into a computer shop and test out the computer keyboards that are not connected to any computers. I type something like that following...

Mark Goodwin is the best guy in the world. no really he is totally absolutely awesomely insanely better than the last guy to use this keyboard and the next guy to use this keyboard. In fact he is so incredibly awesome that analysts predict he will soon be offered the mayor of oldham position but he will decline it in favour of being knighted by the queen on a day and time of his choosing. I don't know why I'm talking in the 3rd person. I need to switch to the 1st person. Oh wait, I already did. That's a good thing otherwise I'd be stuck outside my own body for the rest of my life. That would be bad.

So yeah, that's pretty much what happens. Does that make me vein? Or maybe it shows I have an inflated sense of self-worth? Either way, I LIKE IT! I would pay a lot of money to be able to read what people are typing as they test out computer keyboards. I imagine it would just be so marvellously entertaining that I could just stick all the comments together and call it a book and it would be a best seller overnight. Ha (I shouldn't really laugh), I bet some people are like...

I am fat. Nobody really likes me so I just come to computer shops so I can pretend I have enough money to buy these things but in reality everyone knows that I'm scummy and dirty and pennyless.

and then maybe...

Who am I? Why am I here? It seems like only yesterday I was climbing trees with Amy from down the road and now I have 5 kids with 3 different women and I just wanna climb trees with Amy again. Amy if you are somehow reading this text on this disconnected keyboard please remember that you were always my favourite but I couldn't bare to go out with you because of your weight issues. I wish I could turn the clock back and help you lose weight so that we could go out. Anyway, I'm crying now and people are beginning to point at me so I'd better go. If you somehow get this message please meet me in PC World next Saturday morning. I'll be wearing my "I love Windows 95" T-Shirt.

haha. I like this game but I fear I have now milked it for all it's worth. Actually, you know what I'd really like to do is pretend that I've invented a new keyboard and then try and somehow ask some top politicians to see how it feels to them and just hand it to them without connecting it but still find a way to figure out what they had typed. I'd love to see what Tony Blair would type in order to test a disconnected keyboard in PC World. I bet it would be...

I am prime minister and I'm extremely proud of myself. My popularity has somehow took a nose-dive but at least I've got john prescott here to make me look good looking.

I don't even know what's going on here actually. Oh yeah I just figured it out. I've just spent the past 2 hours watching videos of stand-up comics on youtube and it has clearly had an effect. This post is basically a script of what I'd come up with if I had to do standup. Oh well, now that I've figured out why I'm typing, I may as well stop.

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