In case you didn’t already know, I popped to Amsterdam on my own for a little adventure for 3 nights. Whilst I was there I made a pile of posts to my blog from my mobile phone. So below are all of those posts listen in order of posting. Pics & Vids to follow soon…

Amsterdam is Booked

Well I’ve taken the plunge and have now booked my flights to Amsterdam. I’m departing on Wednesday 14th June and returning on Friday 16th June. I will have to watch the England vs Trinidad & Tobago match in Amsterdam… will try and find a pub with some other English folk in :)

So yeah, that’s all very exciting isn’t it !!
Tickets cost £92 return including all taxes and whatever else. Just gotta find somewhere reasonably cheap to sleep for 2 nights and I might rent a car but I’m not sure I’ll need one as Amsterdam is such a compact city. Nah, I won’t bother getting a car. But I’ll need to get from Schiphol Airport to a central hotel somehow. hmmmm.

And now, some links:

• Amsterdam City Guide according to KLM airways


• How to “check in” for flights online instead of queueing


• The Crooked House (I almost booked this apartment. Very cool but too expensive)


• go holland and time out are sites I need to check

Update:
OK I’ve managed to find a bed for the first night. It is in a youth hostel and costs just £12.15 including a free hot or cold breakfast. Can’t say better than that. It is a Christian Youth Hostel but I’m fairly sure I won’t be forced to join in any Christian activities (don’t get me wrong, I do consider myself a Christian but I don’t really go for all the “hugging-and-saying-nice-things” side of it too much). So I still need somewhere to sleep for my 2nd night. I’m bored of searching through hostel/hotel websites now so I’ve emailed the Christian Youth Hostel and asked if they can advise somewhere for me to go…. otherwise I could just slum it and stay up through the night and have a crazy mad street party with the locals who will have just watched their team play its first game of the world cup that evening!!

e-check in = e-awesome!

So I’ve just checked in for my flight from Manchester to Amsterdam. You can check in online when you fly with KLM. It even let me change my seat. I was sat in a rubbish seat with no leg room but I checked the seating plan online and it showed that one of those cool seats near the front was available without anyone sat directly in front of you. So I went for that one.

Here’s the magic that went down:

So that’s good ain’t it?
I’m the yellow guy in the above image.
“God bless the internet” – Homer J Simpson

Unleash the Facial Hair

I will soon be unleashing the following facial hair onto the streets of Amsterdam

Photo 1 – I find it hard to smile when taking my own photo.

and..

Photo 2 – I find it hard to shave when I can’t be bothered

I think I’ll look more like a local and less like a random, wandering tourist. So that should hopefully be a good thing.

Update 14th June:
Since I found that my whole trip has now gone pear-shaped due to my braindeadness, I have decided to have a shave. Ho Hum!

Checklist for Amsterdam

This is just a list of stuff I need to do/buy before I go to Amsterdam in 15 hours: Things that have been done/packed will have a strike through them

• Buy earplugs to help me sleep in youth hostel
• Take a Bogroll in case of emergency
• Charge Phone, Digicam and Ipod
• Pack Ipod & Earphones
• Biro & Notepad
• Find Camera Case & mini tripod
• Set email auto-responder
• Resist urge to have a shave (failed)
• Pack toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, 1x England Football Shirt, 3x undies, 3x socks, 3x t-shirt, 1x shorts, 1x hat, 1x deoderant
• Euro Battery Charger (not bothering actually)
• Passport & Driving license
• Buy some Euros
• Ask for lift to Airport

Lots to do.
Not lots of time

It’s all gone Pete Tong!!!

Yes, so, I’ve messed up again
I just checked my Amsterdam flight schedule and realised I’ve made a rather large mistake. On my return flight I chose 10.20 thinking it meant 10.20pm but of course…. it means 10.20am. So that sucks. It would mean that I arrive Wednesday evening (about 11pm) then spend the next day in Amsterdam and then have an early start to catch the flight home the next morning.

I phoned KLM but there was nothing they could do. They tried a few options but they all involved charging me lots of money and phoning back tomorrow and blah blah. The lady was very helpful but they only had 1st class tickets left blah blah etc.

So…. I decided I couldn’t just go for 1 day and 2 nights so I’ve now booked one-way flight home with Easyjet so that I can stay for 2 whole days and then fly home on the following morning. So here’s my new schedule:

Wed 1925 – flight out
Thur – have fun
Fri – have fun
Sat 1305 – fly home

I’ve been quite stressed this past couple of days knowing that I’ve got to do all this malarky on my own but now that it’s all gone Pete Tong (wrong) I’m very relaxed and am now looking forward to the adventure again. Trouble is I’ve only got accomodation booked for the 1st night so I still need to find somewhere to sleep for the 2nd and 3rd nights.

It’s fun being me!

Posting From Amsterdam

OK, that’s cool. I just found out that Orange are giving me £5 phone credit as a promotion for international calling. So my first £5 of calls/texts home will be free. I can also surf the web on my phone for free (up to £5) which means I’ll be able to post some little updates to this blog from my mobile phone.

So whilst everyone else in the dormitory will be snoring away I’ll be busy posting blog posts on the internet. OK, so if you’re bothered about what I get up to in Amsterdam, check back here tomorrow when I will have posted my first message from my phone. How exciting (not).

later
mark

Plane Blogging

sitting on a plane
posting to my blog

sitting on a plane
posting to my blog!!!

SITTING ON A PLANE
POSTING TO MY BLOG!!!!

I LOVE THE YEAR 2006!
See you on the other side :)

Dutch Toilet Blogging

yes you guessed it. Im posting this message from a toilet cubicle in amsterdam airport. I just touched down. The guy in next cubicle came and peed and left but thats fine cos they are playing leane rhymes on the radio so i can block out those nasty noises.

Anyway my bus leaves in 20 mins so Ive got time to kill. Wish I could post photos and vids on this thing. if it was 2008 id be posting photos and vids right now. damn you 2006 why are you so technologically not quite awesome?!

anyway. man in next cubicle is having a poo so im outta here.

check back later!
mark

Lost for a Change

hmmm. so i check into the youth hostel at about 11pm and decide to go find out where its happening. Apparently “Dam” is the place to be. doesnt look far on a map so i set off in search of it. That was about an hour ago and im about to walk past the same church for the 3rd time. How can i walk in a generally straight line and still manage to go in circles?

Anyway i dont even know what im looking for. its chucking it down with rain and my phones getting wet as i type this whilst waking alongside this canal thingy.

but yeah there are bikes everywhere. its gone midnight and still there are hundreds of bikes flying around. id kill for a pizza but cant find one open :)

tomorrow i will rent a bike from bike city and it wont be raining and england will win their game 3-0 and i will find a pool hall or something.

Raining heavy now. anyone who has a tourist or fun suggestion for me to do send me a text message to 00447763 727763

ta very much
ok i think i found dam but im starting to feel a bit nervous. but i will push on. im now sodden to the skin.

you see? this is what solo europe holidays are all about.

signing off
mark

Hitched a Ride off Coke Dealer

This is one I can tick off my list… this evening I was given a lift home by an amsterdam drug dealer. I was 100% lost at around 1am and was wandering around without a clue which way to go. It had rained on me for 2 hours solid and then this dodgy guy offers to sell me a bike for 15 euros so i could get home.

I almost bought it but I guessed he nicked the bike so i decided not to bother. i asked for directions home instead but he told me to get on back of bike and he would take me. So i got on and had a great time. We talked about the weather and about football and i videod part of the journey :)

it was a long journey (over 10 mins) but he dropped me at my doorstep and then offered to sell me some cocaine to snort. I politely declined, gave him 10 euros, shook his hand and he said he might see me tomorrow :) nice guy.

someone has texted me to recommend the banana bar with nice women and good conversation. not sure what kind of nice women they are. someone find me a pool hall :)

The Sun Came Up, the 2nd Day

Good morning to you all.
Last night was quite an eventful start to the trip but I’ve already mentioned that in some detail in previous posts so I won’t go over that.

The youth hostel is very nice. I seem to be the only English person out of about 50 people. There are French, Spanish, New Zealanders and some other raifs and strays (!).

Didn’t sleep too well to be honest. Kinda weird environment to sleep in – loads of snoring foreigners shuffling about. But it was OK. I think I had some sort of anxiety attack at 5am where I got a bit stressed and thought I was gonna puke. But I was expected one of those and I’ll probably have another few before the holiday is done (poor me!). Anyway breakfast was good and i read the first couple of chapters of johns gospel whilst eating. its a free book given away by the youth hostel. quite a good read actually and the very first verse is particularly intriguing

OK, gotta run.
Oh and I’ve booked another hostel for tonight. Closer to the centre this time so that’s cool

back soon :)
Mark

Dutch Bike Blogging

im on a bike in amsterdam posting to my blog
IM ON A BIKE IN AMSTERDAM POSTING TO MY BLOG!!

someone just texted me to recommend a pub with english people where i can watch the england game today. im going to go and find it now so thanks for that. keep your amsterdam tips coming in by text to 00447763 727763.

its freezing here but is supposed to get warm tomorrow. i just hired a bike for 2 days which is super cool indeed. bowels feel funny :(

Lady in the Window

I´ve heard about those “ladies in the windows” that are supposed to be in Amsterdam. Well I´ve just seen my first one. She had a gold bikini and quite possibly a blonde wig (but I wasn´t quite sure). A group of scouse lads (liverpuddlians) walked past and she gave them the eye but they just giggled like schoolboys.

So yeah, that was an eye-opener. I found it quite funny at first but I guess it´s quite sad really. Well yeah, it´s kinda sad. But I dunno, people live their lives different ways and I´m not gonna knock it.

I just checked in at my 2nd youth hostel. This one is in the heart of the red light district… in fact I´m staying right next door the “lady in the window”. I wonder if she´ll come around and ask for a cup of sugar? Doubt it!

Uhm… yeah

More Red Ladies in Windows

psst!
PSSST!
Hey! [tap tap tap]

That’s the sound of walking past a red light window. At least that’s what just happened to me anyway. I completely ignored her and I guess that’s the best policy really. I used to think telesales was the worst job. But maybe selling yourself might top that. But again, maybe they’re cool with it, I dunno.

If you want to see Mr Bean’s take on the red light district click below but be warned it does contain a moderately adult image.
Mr Bean Vs Red Light

What else?
Oh yeah, I just made a new friend. Marcel introduced himself to me on the street as I was turning my map upside down for the 3rd time that minute and told me that he doesn’t do drugs (soft or hard) and he doesn’t drink alcohol but he just needs some money for food. I asked him what he’d like, he said Macdonalds and the next thing you know I’m giving him a backy on my bike to the nearest Macdonalds (3 minute rid across dangerous terrain – that’s the trams and confusing road system). In the end he chose Burger King and ordered a burger meal with “nothing on it” (allergies you see).

And last night I met a guy (at about 1am) who said he needed somewhere to sleep so I gave him 2 Euros (I think). Maybe next time I’ll offer to buy him a bed for the night but I dunno, he didn’t seem like the drug-taking type. He was pakistani-ish and quite camp actually – reminded me very much of Shabbaz from this year’s Big Brother series.,

Then coming home I got offered drugs and witnessed some typical “brits abroad” behaviour. Some English drunks throwing pennies across the canal at a foreign guy (aka a native) who just looked confused as to why they were doing it. It’s going to get worse tonight too because the England game starts in about 3 hours and I’m sure we’ll make the whole place rowdy. Hope there’s on trouble but if there is I will either run the other way or stop and get my camera out – not sure which I’d do until it actually happened.

anyway…. more later.

Some Shoutouts

Some people have been texting me with tips and “places to go” whilst I’m here in Amsterdam. Here’s a brief roundup of the texts I’ve received. If you want to text something to me, go right ahead. The number is 00447763 727763. All suggestions welcome. Texts are charged at your standard rate I think but I get charged 30p (which is fine).

• Thanks to KT Dear who texted me about the Irish bar where I can watch the football tonight. The TVs in there are amazing. They are all HD and even the big screen is HD compatible and looks amazing!
• Thanks to Sharon & Jack for texting because they “do worry about” me (bless!)
• Thanks to Simon back home who texted to offer to watch the game with me up Manchester. Sorry I can’t accept the offer
• Thanks to anon who suggested I try the Banana Bar “nice women” and “good people to talk to”

Also, Gaz, if you’re reading this, you’d love this place I reckon. Once you get a bike the whole city is like a big playground. With your sense of direction you’d be able to explore it much better than I am currently doing. We should do Amsterdam one day or something.

Hannah, wish you were here. We’d have a laugh
See yáll later
mark

1 hour till War Starts

The scene is set. Irish pub. Heart of Amsterdam. Bike chained up outside. Bowl of leak and potato soup. Over 2 quid for small glass of squeezed orange juice. Billy no mates here. Ready to sing and shout till I puke. Maybe hug men I dont know (but doubt it).

Come on you England.

Update:
We won the game 2-0

More Nice Homeless People

After a very tiring day doing a walking tour of amsterdam i wanted nothing more than a kfc to fill me up again. I saw one during the tour but couldnt find it again. A homeless guy with a bike saw me looking lost and offered to help. He escorted me half a mile to kfc and i gave him 2 euros in return. A good deal for everyone i think :)

ok its nearly my turn to order so i better sign off. bring on the chicken!

Sunny Day at Last

Amsterdam looks nice in the sun :)
I took a very long tour on foot this morning. Now my feet hurt and im also saddle sore from all the riding.

I took some good photos today i think. Overall my photos and vids are pretty poor but i spotted a couple of good angles today :)

I just have a drunk guy some money to get even more drunk with. He was gross and slimey and trying to sell me more drugs so i just wanted to get rid of him. He complained that the 1 eur I have him wasnt enough for a beer. I told him the correct response would be “Thank you”.

anyway i struggled to find a room for tonight but eventually got a hostel room due to a cancellation. big relief!

im off to check in now and to avoid giving more money to drunk idiots.

fly home tomorrow :)
jolly good
mark

The Tolerance of Holland

So apparently it is not legal to buy, sell or smoke weed here. They just tolerate things that don’t directly harm anyone. Also prostitution is still illegal here but is tolerated.

The only thing holland doesn’t tolerate is intolerance. That is what my tour guide told me anyway. Also Amsterdam was the only city during world war 2 that protested against the way that the German occupying army treated the jews. They had a 24 hour strike of all workers. Nobody else protested apparently.

This tolerance stems from the fact that the dutch dykes could burst any day and wipe out holland. So until that day they say live and let live.

:)

Schiphol Schiphol Schiphol

So i get on a train to Schiphol airport in good time. Boarding closes at 12.40. The train pulls into a station that has loads of signs saying “Schiphol” but i just figure they are saying that you can buy tickets TO Schiphol from that station. Also i had my ipod on loud so didnt hear all the english people get up and leave with their luggage etc. I watched out of the train window as loads of tourist with big luggage bags all piled off by the dozen… but for some reason I didnt even consider the possibility that this could be the Airport stop.

2 minutes after the train left the station it dawned on me where I had just been. Cant believe how often my brain lets me down in this kind of situation. Its crazy really.

So I am now on the 12.14 back to Schiphol which means I have less than 30 mins to complete this journey then find the airport then find my terminal and then board. Thankfully I already printed out my boarding pass so that saves at least one delay.

OK I should stop typing now and make sure I dont miss this station again.

Hold that plane!!

made it

sittin on a plane
posting to my blog

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