*guest post by Mike Carrighan*

THE CAPTAINS LOG

STAR DATE: LAST SUNDAY…ERRR WAS IT THE 10TH ???

THE SEASON FINALLY STARTED AND I WAS ABLE TO TAKE THE FIELD WEARING THE HALLOWED ARM BAND, ALTHOUGH IT WAS A BIT SPOILT COZ ORCHY STRETCHED IT LAST YEAR AND I HAD TO WRAP IT ROUND MY ARM TWICE AND TIE IT IN A BOW. I MUST GET THE CLUB TO FORK OUT FOR NEW ONE. THEY CAN’T SAY NO, I AM THE CAPTAIN.

I ELECTED TO LET THE OTHER CAPTAIN WIN THE TOSS ON SUNDAY, I DID THAT, IT WAS MY DECISION, IT WAS A CONSCIOUS PLAN. I DON’T WANT ANYONE THINKING I’M GOING TO BE AN UNLUCKY CAPTAIN COZ I’M GOING TO BE THE GREATEST CAPTAIN THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN, IF I’M NOT ALREADY WHICH I COULD BE COZ I’VE GOT A HUNDRED PER CENT RECORD. WHO ELSE HAS ?? TERRY, HENRY, NEVILLE…NO CHANCE. EVEN BOBBY MOORE LOST SOME GAMES.

WE WON ON SUNDAY THANKS TO MY ASTUTE TACTICAL PROWESS, WHICH IS VITAL FOR A GREAT CAPTAIN LIKE AS WHAT I AM. I DECIDED TO CATCH THEM OFF GUARD BY GIVING THEM A TWO GOAL START, SO I SET THEIR FIRST GOAL UP BY NODDING THE BALL BACK TOWARDS OUR GOAL AND THEN BLOCKED DAVE HALL’S CLEARANCE FOR THEIR SECOND. I COULD TELL AT HALF TIME THAT THEY THOUGHT THEY HAD WON, SO I TOLD ORCHY “I’LL DO THE TEAM TALK” AND TOLD THE LADS THAT WE WOULD NOW WIN THE GAME AS LONG AS EVERYTHING FLOWED THROUGH ME. LAMMY SAID THERE WAS PLENTY OF STUFF ALREADY FLOWING THROUGH ME, BIT OF INDISCIPLINE THERE, I’LL HAVE TO FINE HIM.

EVERYBODY WAS HAPPY BACK IN THE PUB AFTER I SET UP JOHN MANNION, SPARKY AND SI ORCHARD TO WIN US THE GAME. THE LADS JUST NEED REMINDING THAT I AM THE CAPTAIN AND AS SUCH THERE SHOULD NEVER BE A SITUATION WHEN I HAVE TO GO TO THE BAR OR BUY MY OWN BEER BUT I’M SURE THEY’LL SOON GET THE HANG OF IT.


MIKE GLENDINNING
THE CAPTAIN
TURKS HEAD AFC.

(5 comments below)