One Less Thing - Pre-release MP3

So I've spent a few days working on a song. I actually came up with the music for it some time ago but have only just got around to recording a fairly clean version of it.

Please have a listen. Click below (direct mp3 link)
YONNER - ONE LESS THING

It is still a work in progress, the drums in the chorus need work, I might still chop out the little extra twiddly bits at the end of the chorus. But please do let me know what you think I got right and what you think I got wrong. The lyrics were written by a friend of mine.

thanks for listening
Mark